This year, Jesus has me doing the "Ignatian Retreat in Everyday Life" with the good Jesuits (and associates) at St. Michael's. It is blowing my mind. It has also loosed my pen. Back when I was in Mr. Ingerson's 6th grade English class (now dubbed ELA), I wanted to be a poet. Somewhere in there the 11 year old still lurks:
I thought I saw a future
Arrayed in crimson glow
The heat, the want sustained me,
Til I perceived the foe,
Jesus did correct me,
He turned me right around
And offered, instead, shadows,
With love beyond all bounds
A bit precious, I know, I know. It is a tendency of mine. Even in the free-fall of Letting go into Jesus hands. No matter, the landing will alter all that.
Jesus: You are now in your cocoon and liquefying. As this happens, all of the things you were float past one last time. Let them go. Do not worry that you are becoming them again. Let them go. Fall into my hands. As the nothingness overtakes you, be still, be quiet, choose your “inputs” wisely and sparingly. Do not let in anything that is not of Me. On the other hand, be immersed in Me and the things of Me – My Word, My Sacraments, My Music, and most of all Prayer. I will come to you there and re-order every cell. Then you will see other things you were, long ago, before you turned away. Let them come. They are a part of what you will become. They are a part of my restoration of what the disturber attempted to destroy. But remember, I have promised Double for your trouble (Instead of your former shame, I will give you a double portion – Isaiah 65:7). Restoration is just the foundation. THEN we build, you and I. For now, quiet, still, prayer, let go and allow the darkness of winter to rest the houmous of your soul.